Posts tagged original
Posts tagged original
Hello again,
The letter that never ends. It starts every year. It starts every moment I realize I am here and not somewhere else.
I felt your voice quivering, and in my dreams you wrapped your arms around me, pressed your heart into mine and let yourself cry.
And I felt your face, soaked with tears, your fingers and hands trying to clear your vision, as the plane took off with all your belongings.
I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
How I have ached to hear those words. How I have yearned to understand why you left me so suddenly and never looked back even once. How I have prayed to get your love back, your attention back on to me.
And because I couldn’t and life became a big playground which I had never discovered these thoughts, these prayers became lost in the underground of new relationships, new days, and new beginnings.
I was determined. I wanted to become the best person possible. I would fix everything about me. I would create a change in any negative place inside of me. So I started to practice everything that was affirming and I started to believe.
Through no other accident but sincerity, I became full of grace and found. And my throat and heart expanded. My life suddenly didn’t seem so bleak without your affirmations. And when I finally thought I had forgotten all about it. The dream arrived so that again
I am here, writing the letter that never ends, to you.
Love,
Aisha
morning begins
with a rush
of anticipation
my heart racing
i can feel the
swirling release
in the clouds
streams
of
light reflected
in
the eyes
that
soaked
in
trees smiling,
children playing
in a city
hard.as.can.be
the softness
of open-ness
revealing
…
I.
as evening emerged
a heavy cloud
hanging low
constricting my heart.
II.
as night moved in,
in movement I felt
my breath
reach the wings
of my shoulders.
III.
may it always be so
that my heart
follows the
rhythm to unity
trusting it
to detach me from
doubt&duality
what takes 2,
is actually:
o.n.e
_____ = _____
we divide, subtract
add & multiply
math equations
to quantify
what is
***
come
seek
so there is less you know
and less you want to understand.
be
strong, pure
and light.
make the 2 beat
Lub-dub
into o.n.e
6:19 pm.
april 20, 2012.
that time is
your friend.
and that
things
that change
need to change.
why must we
fill every empty
feeling?
l(oo)king for pleasure l(oo)king for escape
taking it
in.
the abundance of
1.simple.breathe.
2.consecutive.<3beats.
4. songs I can sing with open keys
5. beautiful palm trees
6. memories of laughing through
7. nights of passion
* * *
I wonder
what it is
that gets
seen.
I wonder
what it is
that I
see.
leave the desires.
behind. in a place
of wonder
& mystery.
alt(ernate) option
c(on)tr(o)l
delete/backspace
return/enter
esc(ape)
directions [up,down,right,left]
shift
f(u)n(ction)
command
play/pause
forward
rewind
more &
less
eject
*tab
*caps lock
numbers
letters
keys
space
*the ones that don’t fit the metaphor!
April 8, 2012
7:28 pm
midnight in my
madness
and its
true
I only
think of
you.
midnight in my
day and
all I feel
is the
wishes
I spared
for you.
midnight in my
coffeeashtray
and all
I see
is the
futures
I bargained
for you.
midnight in my
heart
and all
I know
is that
you
makemegrow.
a wilderness;
neither tame/
nor
wild/.
stays the same.
it moves
so fast
and
you don’t even notice
until
its changed
its gone
yet
like smoke
it
never truly leaves.
i look at myself
and i see
good mother
bad mother
i’m neither
good father
bad mother
i’m neither
good wife
good sister
good friend
i”ve been all 3
find it hard to
believe
***
i only can know
me
through you
i can only know
me
as other.
no-self.
that’s what i settled with today.
no-self.
***
not to blame for my
no-self
not to blame for my
being other
***
not too late to
change the tune
change the picture
change the way
I see
me
not too late to
be&see
my-self
***
I grow each day
the seeds
are protected.
I am not her
I am not her
I am not her.
